The Session Will Find You / Part Three

At different stages there are people pissing on their bedroom walls while asleep, fully clothed in the pool of some stupidly good rooftop terrace overlooking Copacabana, ending up on the wrong end of a drug dealer’s peculiar taekwondo manoeuvre and more unhinged and tropical occurrences. I’m told those instances were all me, but I can’t … Continue reading The Session Will Find You / Part Three

Berlin; The Kreuzberg Diaries

4 a.m. at a guess, but who knows. Sleep has been foregone for at least the night previous to this, causing the correlation and chronology of events to blur. At this stage, knowing for sure would only be detrimental anyway. Having just politely declined the advances of a chap who wanted to do the naughtiest … Continue reading Berlin; The Kreuzberg Diaries

AfrikaBurn; A Debut To Remember

I have marched around the binnekring surrounded by hundreds of topless women in the Critical Tits parade as a burlesque dancer wearing a see-through, sequined robe of gold conducts proceedings from the mast-top of a mobile pirate ship the size of a small aircraft, which is blasting music through amplifiers only just smaller than supermarket … Continue reading AfrikaBurn; A Debut To Remember

The Session Will Find You / Part Two

The final straw of Arab Jerry Seinfeld’s behaviour breaks the camel’s resistance. The camel’s back breaks, legs buckling and folding spastically beneath it. Only you are the camel, and rather than your back breaking, you are strangling a Saudi Prince over a bar in Tbilisi. Simultaneously, yet through space, time, crumbling continuums, misshapen magnitudes and … Continue reading The Session Will Find You / Part Two