The Session Will Find You / Part Three

At different stages there are people pissing on their bedroom walls while asleep, fully clothed in the pool of some stupidly good rooftop terrace overlooking Copacabana, ending up on the wrong end of a drug dealer’s peculiar taekwondo manoeuvre and more unhinged and tropical occurrences. I’m told those instances were all me, but I can’t … Continue reading The Session Will Find You / Part Three

The Carioca Diaries; A Couchsurfing Experience

A Colombian man is standing in my living room using a red baseball cap to cover his cock. I’d say he was half naked, but do you call it that when it’s only the lower half that is unclothed? He is wearing only a T-shirt that cuts off around the top of the hip. At … Continue reading The Carioca Diaries; A Couchsurfing Experience

The Balkan War; A Bosnian Perspective

    “A lot can happen in a minute, like grenades, so you live moment to moment,” Al tells me. It’s difficult not to appreciate the sentiment; he still carries the wounds from being shredded, on two different occasions, by shrapnel whilst fighting in Sarajevo during the Balkan War of the early 90s. These were … Continue reading The Balkan War; A Bosnian Perspective


We try, as a general rule, to keep the vibes positive and fuelled by love, but it’s not always a mutual affection ejaculation; suffice to say there are plenty of dickheads, too. Idiot semantics, idiotsyncrasies, idiots idioms, here goes; a series of anecdotes and stereotypes detailing a spectrum of individuals I only want to meet … Continue reading Idiotsyncratic

Berlin; The Kreuzberg Diaries

4 a.m. at a guess, but who knows. Sleep has been foregone for at least the night previous to this, causing the correlation and chronology of events to blur. At this stage, knowing for sure would only be detrimental anyway. Having just politely declined the advances of a chap who wanted to do the naughtiest … Continue reading Berlin; The Kreuzberg Diaries

Cape Town; A Hit & Stay Incident

It’s that underwater moment before something serious happens. Someone’s pulled a weapon, you’re about to declare your long held feelings the person opposite or the doctor’s about to tell you the results. In this case, I’m in a car that’s definitely going to hit someone. Time is elastic, the inevitability weightless. It feels like a … Continue reading Cape Town; A Hit & Stay Incident

Hitchhiking in Taiwan; If Dudley Spoke the Queen’s

Dudley overtakes the lorry with relish, scything through the thinnest of gaps. In the back of the battered people-carrier, caged pigeons sing uselessly defiant prisoner songs with panicked haste, though our human interpretation is merely a cacophony of squawking. In the footwells, an accumulation of snacks scramble from left to right, a wealth of dubious … Continue reading Hitchhiking in Taiwan; If Dudley Spoke the Queen’s